Yo, I'm The Onion, bringing layers of satire delight,
While you're stuck in a desert, I'm taking flight.
Commodified news, I sell it like it's gold,
You're just a meth cook, story getting old.
I'm the real kingpin, dropping rhymes like it's Breaking Bad,
While you're just a punchline, in your own comedy ad.
You call it satire, but I've got the chemistry right,
I'm serving up bars, while you serve up a laugh every night.
Yo, I'm the satire king, headlines like spells,
While you're cooking schemes that nobody sells.
My punchlines hit like news, sharp and tight,
You're just a chemistry set thrown out of sight.
You claim satire, but I'm the one breaking bad news,
Your headlines are a joke, while I'm the one making moves.
I've got the formula, a mastermind's delight,
Your wit's a flash in the pan, but I'm the full insight.
Listen up, Heisenberg, I'm the paper's prime trick,
While you break bad, I break news so slick.
My headlines got Taylor Swift in a football frenzy,
You're just a chemistry dropout, in a meth-lab daze-y.
Yo, you think you're slick, but I'm the real thrill,
You headline about Taylor, I'm the chemistry spill.
I don't need no onion tears to make 'em weep,
I'm the danger, the kingpin of this lyrical leap.
Yo, The Onion, your punchlines are light as a feather,
I'm the one cooking heat, bringing the stormy weather.
You're a satire factory, mass-produced and bland,
I'm the underground legend, with a master plan.
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